I am five days into my first summer where I’m not working at a job! I am, however, working on getting Baby J’s room and our house ready for baby- that is a lot of work in itself. (Don’t worry, I’m getting plenty of help!)
Along with getting our house ready for baby, I plan on doing a lot of reading and writing. Plus, tackeling my ‘to be watched’ list on Netflix. Because I feel sort of lazy just sitting around watching Netflix, I’ve decided to write reviews on the shows and movies I’ve watched. That way not only am I getting to watch em, but I’m getting some writing done as well 😁 I plan on writing book reviews as well!
So what can you expect over the sumer from me? Book realated blog posts, movie/shows and book reviews, and pregancy posts. It’ll be lots of fun so make sure you keep coming back to stay up to date with what’s going on in my world (if you’re interested 😉)
I will also take suggestions if anyone has anything they would like me to talk about, or if you have any book ideas you’d like to discuss! I’m not perfect and still have lots to learn, but if you have any questions about anything writing related or PCOS pregnancy, feel free to reach out to me. I don’t bite, I promise 😏
That’s all for now. Make sure you hit that follow button if you’d like to stay up to date on my super fun summer life. ☀️
Picture this: It was the morning of December 31, 2021, and I was laying in bed thinking how I couldn’t believe 2021 was almost over. Life was good, we were all healthy, and nothing significant had been happening. I was between jobs so things were a little tight financially. We had planned on bringing in the New Year at home as a family. Nothing out of the ordinary there.
I want to have a drink tonight was a thought that kept crossing my mind. Normally, this wouldn’t be an issue. But I’ve been waking up dizzy and nauseated several times recently and hadn’t had my monthly yet. Now as you know with PCOS, we don’t always have a normal cycle so missing a period doesn’t always mean you’re pregnant. (More often, you’re not.) Butttt because I wanted to drink, I would rather be safe than sorry. So I slid out of bed, not saying anything to my boyfriend, and went to pee on a stick. Halfway annoyed I was about to waste another pregnancy test with a negative result.
As soon as I pulled the stick up before I even put the cap on, it was positive. My heart literally skipped a beat and my hand started shaking. I finished peeing as I kept saying “is this real?” over and over. I called out to my boyfriend to come here, who just groaned, and didn’t come. I quickly took the pregnancy test to him and told him to read it, tears welling up in my eyes, handshaking.
Of course, my boyfriend being the clown he is, had to mess with me. He kept groaning and saying “huh? What?” I kept telling him to read it, read it, read it. He then says “what? you want me to pee on it?” and then laughed saying “babe, I already know what it says.”
I think I cried for five hours straight. I don’t think I stopped smiling all day long. But I still felt like it was too good to be true. I couldn’t really be pregnant, could I?
I’ve been told for literal years by multiple doctors that I wouldn’t ever be able to have a baby on my own; that I would need all kinds of infertility treatments to conceive and even then, it might not ever happen for me. So I started to wonder if I was honestly pregnant or if there was something else going on. I don’t know what else it could be, but I just knew it was something other than me being actually pregnant. Does Covid produce positive pregnancy test results? (Insert nervous laughing).
We ended up taking another test and it too said positive. Thankfully Jalen had stayed with his grandma the night before, so we had time to wrap our heads around it (a little bit). We ended up telling my boyfriend’s mom and Jalen next, then the rest is a blur. I was so happy and overwhelmed, I don’t know if I had a single thought that wasn’t “I’m pregnant” for the next several days.
I scheduled an appointment with my OBGYN and it was confirmed: I was pregnant! Even hearing the doctor confirm it, I felt like I was in a dream. We started telling our immediate family and close friends. I didn’t want to make a post on social media yet because I wanted to wait until I made it out of the first trimester.
So here’s to my journey as I go through my first pregnancy. I wanted to post about it sooner, but I’ve just now felt comfortable writing about it. I do plan on writing more so if you’re interested in following my pregnancy journey, make sure you follow my blog 😊
Here is my review for the Netflix limited series Midnight Mass… There will be spoilers so if you haven’t watched, don’t read and go watch. Right now. Go ahead on over to Netflix then come back!!!! You’ve been warned! 😉
First thing, the name fits this movie perfectly and I understand why they called it Midnight Mass. I wasn’t expecting this show to be how it was. It kind of shocked me!!! Honestly, I was expecting it to be about some demonic entity taking over this small island. Not about some damn vampire they thought was an angel from God..yeah, you read that right!
It starts out kind of slow, showing a car accident— a girl laying on the pavement who didn’t make it and a man getting some work done on his face. The paramedic makes a comment about how it’s always the kids who die and the drunk assholes who survive. Right there I think “oh, this is gonna be some creepy ghost series.” I was wrong.
Meet Riley, the main character who we follow after he has been released from jail—four years for drunk driving and killing the girl. It starts off kind of slow as we meet his family and some other people from the island. By the end of the episode, I’m dying to know what the hell is going on around this island because something is out there in the darkness!
By this point I’m intrigued, but not creeped out or scared. I still gotta know what’s going on. As we dive deeper into this series, I am starting to have more and more questions.
A new priest moves to town, Father Paul and shit starts to go a lil crazy. People who have had injuries or are suffering from old age started to be healed after communion. This brings everyone to the church for Mass. Everyone starts to believe in the power of God. Which is to be expected when seeing “miracles” happen right before their eyes.
Good ole Bev Keane (who thinks she is better than the rest of the town), is loyal and faithful to Father Paul and the “miracles” that are happening. She doesn’t miss a chance to shove her face at the townspeople any chance she can. I really, really did not like her. 😤And honestly content with her dying the way she did. 😂😂
This series did an amazing job at keeping you interested, a little on edge, and very emotional. The scene with Leeza going off on Joe Collie in his trailer home—baby let me tell you I cried! You could feel their pain. You could understand why each one of them felt the way they felt! I cried and cried because it was so beautifully written and the way the characters played their parts was phenomenal!
There were a couple other scenes that were moving and powerful in this series. They were so well written it was draw dropping. A very, job well done! 👏🏼👏🏼
I honestly and truly believe Father Paul thought he had found some sort of angel. Now, y’all. I know it’s said that angels can be scary (and we honestly don’t know what they look like), but thisssss thing? Hell nah. This was a different kind of scary! I don’t pretend to know what an angel looks like, but it ain’t that! 🙅🏽♀️ This thing had me ready to run for the hills!! 🏃🏽♀️
Y’all cannot tell me that “hmm maybe this is a vampire” didn’t cross Father Paul’s mind at least once!? I mean the healing of illness, old age, a bullet wound, himself coming back from the dead, not being able to be in the sun, and the kicker–lusting for blood. If that doesn’t scream vampire, I can’t tell you what does!
What kills me is the fact that out of 127 people on this island, Crockett Island, only about five people knew what was going on and what the plan was. It blew my mind that nobody found out sooner and tried to expose Father Paul for the fraud he was. However, when Riley let himself catch fire in the Sun I felt a pang of sadness and pride at the same time. He knew what he had become and wanted no part in it! Even tried to save his childhood friend/crush Erin on his way out. But he had to know, that wouldn’t work and she’d wanna save as many people from the island as she could!
I feel as if the series came to an offical end; there was a conclusion. There isn’t much else for them to make a second season with or anything. The ending made me tear up watching the whole town be destroyed and burn. As a writer, j understand why almost everyone had to die. But as a someone who was watching, that hurt!!
I’d give it a 8/10. The reason for this rating is because there are a lot of long, and I mean long, parts where they just play a song and you watch as the characters do this and that. Normally, that’s fine. But when it’s done for too long, it gets a little annoying. And that’s just me being honest. 🤷🏽♀️ If you haven’t seen Midnight Mass, I definitely recommend you checking it out!!
I’m sure there are still a few of you who remember me being on my weight loss journey. I want y’all to know, I’m back at it! My boyfriend bought me a new fitness watch and since then I’ve been obsessed with meeting my step goals. Like OBSESSED.
At first, I wasn’t obsessed honestly. I was like meh if I did or didn’t hit my goal. Then one week, I hit my goal everyday and it excited me. It was that week that sparked my obsession. I’ve been hitting my goal frequently so that means I’ve been able to change my goal a lot. I started out on the default at 6,000 steps. I hit that easily. So I bumped it up to 7,000 and I hit that for a week straight so I was like I’ll move it on up to 8,000 (because I thought I was a big shot), but I didn’t hit that at all. It was real hard for me to get up to 8,000 and I’m not sure why. I would get in a good 6-7 thousand at work but by the time I came home, I was so physically exhausted I just sat on the couch and only moved around a bit.
I moved my goal back down to 7,500 and told myself I had to hit this goal no matter what. And I was serious with the ‘no matter what’ part. At home, I started purposely leaving things in the other room and having to make multiple trips to get them, stopped asking my boys to get things for me (not completely of course 😉 just not as much). I also would try to get to 1,000 steps (or as close to it as I could) before I left for work. I would try to get to 6,000 steps before I left work. At work during nap time, I would walk laps around the classroom. Yup, you read that right— I’d walk laps as in I’d get a little path around the room and I would just walk that over and over. People always giggled when they seen me walking or make comments like “Jessica’s walking laps again”. Yup, I sure was.
With walking laps during nap, I hit my goal everyday for a week. Deciding to up my goal to 7,700 steps, I knew that would be harder so I wanted to hit it as many times as I could for two weeks. With walking laps at work, I decided to do the same thing at home. I also started using my stair stepper to help me reach my goal. Starting tomorrow, my goal is set at 7,800! I am going to keep moving it up, no matter how long it takes, until I get to 10,000 steps a day. It’ll be hard, but I’m worth it; I’m not giving up!!!
My body hurts every day(PCOS SUCKS). Walking helps. Doing the stair stepper as exercise is easier than doing any other workout. My plan is to keep hitting my goal daily and doing the stair stepper every other day until I am able to do different workouts daily! Overall, I’d like to lose 100 pounds, but right now, I’m not focused on the weight. Just trying to get into a habit of working out and eating healthier. If you are on a weight loss journey and need motivation, I’m here to help! We can motivate each other, encourage each other, and push each other!
That’s all for now. So until next time, be careful, stay Blessed. Wash yo hands and wear that mask!!!!!
Sunday’s are made for relaxing in our house. Lots of sitting around watching tv, reading/writing or playing video games. ☺️ Today was no different.
However, what was different was my step count. During the week, my steps are way closer to my goal than they were today. I thought to myself “oh well, I won’t hit my goal today” and kept playing Minecraft with my kiddo.
A little bit later I had another thought: get up and get moving to get more steps! So I got up and walked around my house for five minutes. It felt good and I liked watching the steps creep higher than they were. It made me happy.
So I walked for twenty minutes and watched the steps go closer and closer to my goal. I took a lil break then I walked for another twenty minutes.
By the time I was finished, not only did my body feel great, I hit my goal! I say that to say this: set goals and crush them even if it’s on an easy day!!!!
Don’t give up on your goals or Dreams. Work everyday to reach them no matter what!!!!
Be easy, stay blessed, was your hands and wear your mask!
We are making our way through the second month of 2021. How is it going for you? Has the pandemic hit you hard? It’s okay to be struggling both mentally and finanically. You are not alone. A lot of people are having a hard time right now.❤️
To help my mental health, I’m going to be working on doing some self care and self discovery posts. I’ve been looking up blogging ideas on Pinterest, and I’ve found quite a few self care/discovery posts full of questions I really like. I’m gonna take a few days so I can gather the questions I’d like to answer here in my blog.
Stay tuned for blog posts about self care and self discovery. Who knows, you might be able to go on your own journey to self care and self disovery. If you feel like it, you can share your thoughts in the comments on my posts as I make them. I haven’t figured out how often I’m gonna write, but I’m gonna shoot for every other day!🤙🏽
That’s all for now. Be easy. Stay blessed. Wear the mask and WASH YO HANDS!
As the first month of 2021 comes to an end, I find myself reflecting over my life more and more.
I’m not where I want to be, but it’s crazy to see where I’m at. It’s crazy to think I left good ole Coffeyville when I was 18/19 and I haven’t went back. I’m 30, a self-published author, a licensed nail tech, a photographer, and for almost six years have been a stepmom. I’ve had such a wild and crazy ride. And the best part??? It’s not over yet!
The closer and closer I got to 30, the more anxious I started to feel. I wasn’t married or didn’t have as many kids as I planned I would by this time. I wasn’t making money like I thought I would be either. (Silly pandemic messed that up for me.) I started to obsess over how time was running out for me and I had to hurry and get what I wanted before it was too late.
I was talking to my best friend and she told me to calm down and think about how much life I had left and how we were blessed to make it as far as we had. She’s seriously the best 😍 She was right, though. I still had so much time left on this Earth.
I wasn’t running out of time, I was running out of patience. Read that again.
It’s probably true for your life as well. We get so caught up in trying to stick to the plan we have for ourselves or trying to keep up with our friends lives, we forget to enjoy ours. Life is short and shouldn’t be spent worrying about anything besides trying to make it the best life ever.
My challenge for y’all (and myself, too) is to focus on living your best life. Go on trips, make memories, forget about time, and most importantly, love yourself fully. Wake up and make the best out of each day. Bust your ass. Relax when you need. Spoil yourself. Do for yourself just as much as you do for others.
Get rid of the excuses and make this your best year, yet. 🤙🏽
Be easy. Stay blessed. Wear the mask and WASH YO HANDS!!
If you’re reading this, you made it to a new year even when you didn’t think you would! I’m happy you’re here 🤗
I normally do the whole “new year, new me” stuff. But this year I’ve decided to try out a new motto: New Year, same me — just better, healthier, happier 😍😍
My biggest goal is to work on my businesses. Yup, all three of em. My nails, my writing, and my photography— they are all going to the top!!!
Next up on the goal list is…… Losing weight and getting healthy! I’m getting back on my low-carb lifestyle and working out. I’m gonna take it really slow and work on making it stick this time. For real. Hopefully. I’m gonna try my hardest!!! 🤙🏽
I’ve sold six books already this year making me feel like my writing career is gonna be great this year! Writing has been going good. I’ve been writing so much this year it’s been crazy! I’m pushing through book one of The Horror House Series. I’m super excited for where this series is going. 🤩
I also had a crazy idea for a book in first person and more erotic than any of my other books. I accidentally started writing that and now I’ve took a face first dive into that. 🤣
I normally don’t allow myself to start a new book until the current book I’m writing is finished. But I didn’t have a choice. I was pulled into this one so I just went with it. And I’m happy I did. It’s going really well, too 😁😏
I plan on working on and publishing The Horror House Series next. Then I will work on the erotica one. I will update you later on my progress as I keep going!
Let’s make this year the best year ever! Bust ass on crushing goals and making dreams come true. I believe in you!
Stay blessed. Be easy. Wash your hands and WEAR YO DAMN MASK.
Hey guys it’s been awhile. Again. I’m sorry, again. I mean to write more than once a month. Promise you I’ll get better soon. LOL Figured I should come share with you what the hell has been going on in my life since I’ve been so quiet. Y’all know I’m transparent so buckle up and enjoy the ride.😜
About four months ago I lost my job. They filed for bankruptcy and shut down our location ( I entertained transferring to a different location but with the kiddo doing school at home, it wouldn’t work). It was bittersweet because I was already so nervous working –covid and such. I was super excited to be able to stay home with my kiddo while he did virtual learning and being able to write a lot. However, what I wasn’t anticipating was not receiving unemployment. Apparently I hadn’t worked at my job long enough to receive any. 🙄 (Thanks mandatory shutdown.)
In the beginning (of me not working), things were fine for me and everything seemed to be going smoothly and whatnot. As the days turned into weeks, I began to get a little more depressed each day. I hated not being able to provide for my family. I have always been independent and never liked depending on anyone (people disappoint you anyway). So me not being able to help my boyfriend handle things really got to me even though it wasn’t my fault I lost my job. 🙄🤦🏽♀️ The bf was great btw. He never made me feel any type of way—it was all me and my silly independence and not needing anyone to take care of me. 🥴😂
I hardly left the house. Days would go by that I might eat once a day. Then there were days where I snacked all day long. My weight kept fluctuating and I was not sticking to low-carb AT ALL. I did everyday basic cleaning and such. Even taking a shower became exhausting because my body was killing me. Everything hurt. I hurt so much; almost as much as I did when I was working. I felt darkness closing in on me and if I did not make a change soon, it would swallow me whole. 😶
To combat the darkness I dove into writing. I wrote as much and as often as I could. I forgot about what was going on in my life. I escaped my reality and dove into the life of my characters. Their problems weren’t mine so it was okay to avoid mine and help them, right? I felt that I was doing enough for my mental health just by doing that (writing and helping my characters). Although the darkness subsided, it did not go away. It came back stronger and zapped everything from me, even my desire to write. 😶😭 (Which sucked during NaNo Wrimo).
I had just turned 30 and I wasn’t where I want to be in life. (Unemployed, not married, no biological children, always hurting, unable to lose weight and keep it off, etc..) My life was very stagnant and I did not like it at all! The plan I had in place for my life crumbled and I felt like my life falling apart right in front of me and there wasn’t anything I could do to stop it. Was there?
I called my best friend (all the time) crying and whining about my crappy situation. And she never once judged me for my life (or how I was handling things. Ya know, being a big ole baby). What she did was be there to always pick me up and dust me off. Once she had my attention, she also reminded me that although I felt old and like my life was over, it wasn’t. I still had so much life to live, so much more ahead of me. She also said that we were both blessed to be able to see the age that we were because a lot of people didn’t make it this far. That snapped something in my brain juices. I just love that woman so much and couldn’t do life without her– I need her in my life.❤️❤️❤️
Her words sparked a fire in me and I got my ass in gear. I started changing the way I thought (again. Been working on undoing negative thinking for years) and I started to think about what I could do to get rid of this darkness for good. It was not going to control my life or to take me out. I had it too much to be thankful for; too much to live for (I wasn’t suicidal, but I was struggling to find my worth or purpose in life). Even though things aren’t going exactly how I want them to be going, I am still blessed beyond measures.
I took back control of my thoughts. I took back control of my life. After all, it was my life and nobody can live it but me. Why not get back to living my best life?
I started actively posting about my writing, photography, and nails. I started doing any and everything I could to spark my creativity and/or excitement. Working on business things excited me which in turn, inspired me. My spirits began lifting. It was a win, win! 😁
I started deep cleaning the house which helped me physically (sitting down all the time is bad for you when you have chronic pain). I started out doing a little at a time and then as the time went on, I was able to do more and more. Now I created a deep clean Wednesday where I deep clean the entire house (who the hell does that? ME🤦🏽♀️😜). My back gets so mad at me, and I hurt so bad the entire time, but I make myself do it. I give myself small breaks, but I get through it all in that day! And it helps me in the end—house is cleaned, got a workout in, and my boys come home to a clean house with good energy.😍👌🏽
Things are looking up. Each day I’ve done more and more positive thinking, praying, and speaking into existence (good thoughts, positive body image, financial freedom, chronic pain freedom, etc). Each day I have found more and more reasons to be happy and to be thankful I’m so blessed. 🙌🏽🙌🏽
I wanted to share this with you because depression is real and can happen to anyone. It doesn’t care your age, race, financial situation, ANTYHING.
Things are hard for a lot of people and a lot of families right now. Please give yourself a break. Cut yourself some slack and try your hardest to make the best out of each day and out of your situation. Do whatever you can to make you happy and don’t stop until happiness is what you experience all the time. Think about why you’re blessed. (Read that again. And again. Take a deep breath and read it one more time). Think about all the things that you do have and all the people that do care about you. Think about the good and don’t even give the bad any of your attention or your energy. Kick it’s negative energy having ass right to the curb. Reach out to friends/family or seek professional help if you need to. But whatever you do don’t let that darkness consume you. You are not alone. You don’t have to go through whatever it is you’re going through alone. Reach out to someone, anyone, because someone cares so much about you. Someone is happier knowing that you are on this Earth.
If anyone needs this, don’t be afraid to call them. Taking your own life is not the solution. It won’t make everyone’s life easier if you were gone. I promise. National Suicide Prevention LifelineHours: Available 24 hours. 800-273-8255
Hey y’all. It’s been a while since I’ve wrote to you. I haven’t forgotten about y’all or anything. Things have just been crazy. Lots of good things have happened, there’s also been some not so good things happening as well.
I’ve had so many things I’ve wanted to write about, but at the same time, I’ve not had anything to say. Ironic, eh? I promise I will do better. I miss you guys!
Since I’ve been gone, I have published my fourth book on Amazon, You Tried Me. It’s the sequel to Try Me Not. I published it on my 30th birthday. Oh yeah, I’m 30 now!
I’m working on participating in NaNo Wrimo this year. If you don’t know what that is, it’s where writers all across the world try to write a novel (50,000 words) during the month of November. That breaks down to about 1,667 words a day! This year I made a plan and I’m doing my best to stick to it. It’s challenging to set goals and reach them DAILY, but totally doable. I am doing better this year than any other year I’ve attempted.
With that being said, I’m gonna go write now! I will be talking about my NaNo experience later in the month!!
Avoiding the Backspace 