PCOS and Pregnancy

No matter what’s going on around you, pause and appreciate the beauty that surrounds you. Jessica Grundy

If you’ve followed my blog, you know I have PCOS. Then you also know I’ve been told over and over getting pregnant most likely wouldn’t happen for me. It broke my heart each time I heard it because I always wanted to have four or five kids. And yes, adoption has always been an option, but it’s expensive and a hard process from what I’ve heard.

But I don’t have to worry about that at this moment since I’m pregnant 🤰🏽🙌🏽

I’ve had many women reach out to me and ask me what my trick was getting pregnant, or what I did to get pregnant. I figured I’d just address it in a post because it would be easier to reach everyone! So if you’re interested, keep reading. If not, see yah later 😉

I tried and tried for years to get pregnant; got off birth control, didn’t use any sort of protection, and did our business.😏 Time after time, nothing happened. I was tracking my periods and ovulation through a period app. I had tried talking to multiple doctors, all of whom had told me I wouldn’t ever be able to get pregnant unless I lost over 150 pounds. With each negative pregnancy test, I lost a little more hope that it would ever happen for me.

I had started doing a low-carb diet to lose weight, doing home workouts when I could (physical pain and lack of motivation really weighed me down in regards to working out), and becoming obsessed with hitting my step goal. I felt like I was finally on the right track! But a positive pregnancy test never came.

I had talked to many women who were in the same situation as me, both with PCOS and without. Some women had multiple kids, some were currently pregnant. Some of them were struggling to get pregnant just like me. Some of the women who were struggling to conceive went steps further and started treatments and medicine to help them conceive. After listening to how long some of them had been doing the treatments and still no pregnancy, I didn’t know if I had the strength to do that. Then came the talk of cost. Once I heard how much the treatments and medicine costs, I knew I’d never be able to afford it with my current job.

I gave up fighting so hard to keeping my hope alive. I started to force myself to stop thinking about getting pregnant. Anytime anyone mentioned it I would say “maybe it’s not meant for me” and slowly but surley, I started to believe it. Eventually, I started to get depressed and fell off my low-carb diet and attempting to do any home workouts. I didn’t give up being obsessed with hitting my step goal, though. 🤷🏽‍♀️

During this time, I had a super stressful job that I really despised going to daily. I was consumed with stress both mentally and physically. Which did make it pretty easy to not focus on trying to get pregnant if I’m being honest. My head space was dark and clouded.. until I got out of that toxic environment and started working on finding my inner peace again.

To be honest, when I found out I was pregnant, I was totally shocked. I couldn’t believe it. (I wake up to this day at 33 weeks pregnant and I still can’t believe it.)

But to answer the big questions, I didn’t do anything different to get pregnant than I had before. I could say it was because I left a toxic job and my stress levels went down. I could say it was my obsession with hitting my step goal daily. I could say it was because I stopped putting so much of my focus on trying. But none of those were it. Although all of those probably helped, they aren’t how I got pregnant.

I was able to get pregnant by the grace of God. It was my time and I was blessed. There is no other explanation for me to give. My lack of faith wasn’t in God or His timing, it was in my body. But even with everything stacked against us, my body is doing an amazing thing that nobody (but God) knew was possible.

It’s not easy to keep the positive mindset or your faith alive. That’s why you’ve gotta keep yourself surrounded by positive people. Even though I had almost fully given up, there were people close to me who prayed it would happen for me and those who knew in their hearts it would happen for me. Find you some people like that and keep them close. They are important to have when times get dark and lonely.

I can’t tell you not to give up hope because as you read, I had pretty much done that. What I can tell you is to trust in the timing. It will happen for you when the time is right — for YOU. It won’t happen on your time. It won’t happen just cause you want it to or cause you think you’re ready. It’ll happen when it’s supposed to happen. And that’s with anything, loves, not just pregnancy!!! 😘

Until next time. Be easy, stay blessed.

-Jessica💖

Scariest Day of My Life.

***Trigger Warning–Talk of miscarriage***

As I’ve mentioned in previous posts, I’ve wanted to be open with you guys about my pregnancy journey and having PCOS. I want to share what I’ve gone through so any woman will know that even if their journey doesn’t look like mine, they are not alone. If you’re okay reading past this point, please know I am being 100% valuerable with you all. Please keep all negative and hateful comments to yourselves. 🤙🏽

It was around 3:30 in the morning when I woke up. I felt like something was wrong. I couldn’t put my finger on it but I knew something was off. I went to the bathroom and that’s when I saw it… blood.

My heart literally stopped. Tears jumped out of my eyes and I began to shake. I yelled for my boyfriend who rushed to my side asking me frantically “what’s wrong?” I couldn’t say anything but I’m bleeding.

He calmly got me to come back to the bedroom where I noticed blood on our sheets and mattress. My heart shattered. I just knew I was losing our baby…

I cried and cried for hours, not sure what to do. I wasn’t in any pain, other than my heart that hurt so bad I felt like it was about to rip out of my chest. We had called the nurse line asking what we should do now and tried to sleep while we waited for the call back. Of course, that didn’t happen.

I ended up calling both my best friend and my mom asking what I should do. Both of them told me to prepare myself that I could be having a miscarriage and I should go to the ER. And that’s what we did.

I couldn’t stop crying or shaking. My boyfriend had to do most of the talking for me since I forgot how to form scentenes. I was a complete and total mess. My boyfriend, however, was as calm as a toad in the sun.

I went through the process of giving my information and telling them what happened, more times than I wanted to repeat, then we just waited. My mind raced and all I could do was tell myself to breathe. My boyfriend kept grabbing my hand and squeezing. If it wouldn’t have been for him, I wouldn’t have been able to get through it.

After what felt like forever, they came in and did an ultrasound. When they said the baby was fine and moving around a lot, both my boyfriend and I let out a sigh of relief, tears welled up in our eyes. I couldn’t believe it: our baby was okay and we weren’t losing our baby!!!!

I was told I had a small hematoma which is why I was bleeding. The definition of a hematoma is a solid swelling of clotted blood within the tissues. They can happen during pregnancy and must be diagnosed by ultrasound. I don’t know how it happened. I was told to take it easy, no heavy lifting, caffeine (because that can cause more bleeding), or sexual activity for a month. I was also told to make an appointment with my OBGYN and to let him know if I had more bleeding.

While I was at the hospital, I learned that women who are B- blood type, tend to reject pregnancy and they have to have a shot to prevent that. I got my shot (one that I’ll have to get with every pregnancy) and was sent on my way with no additional concern for losing our baby.🙌🏽

Exhausted wasn’t even good enough to explain what I was at this time. And although my boyfriend had been my rock the entire time, I knew he was just as exhausted as I was. When we finally made it home, he admitted how scared he was and I knew right then and there that no matter what I faced, he would be able to help me through it all. That he would be my rock, supporting me through it until I was good, and then and only then he would let his true emotions show. I also knew that I would do whatever I had to do to keep him strong and supported. It’ll be us against the world.

I was thankful Jalen had stayed the night with his grandma that night and we were able to handle all of this without him home or knowing. I don’t think I could have handled it if he would have been home and saw me crying as much as I was.

As thankful as I was that everything was going to be okay, there was still a piece of me that was terrified something else would go wrong. Any time I mentioned it to my boyfriend, he was there to assure me everything would be fine. As a woman with PCOS and being told 1. that you’d never get pregnant and 2. that miscarriage is more common than the average woman, you learn to think the worst first and always.

Any time I had a negative thought, I replaced it with ‘my body is doing wonderful things and capable of carrying our baby’ over and over until the negavite thought went away. I knew, like most pregnancies, mine wouldn’t be easy, but I knew no matter what I went through, it would be 100% worth it.

I know (from my own experience) it’s easier said than done, but if you’re pregnant or trying to get pregnant, take things one day at a time. Do whatever you can to be positive, listen to your body and your doctor. Everything will work out exactly how it’s supposed to. 😘

That’s all for now. Be easy, stay blessed.

-Jessica💖

When I found out about You

Picture this: It was the morning of December 31, 2021, and I was laying in bed thinking how I couldn’t believe 2021 was almost over. Life was good, we were all healthy, and nothing significant had been happening. I was between jobs so things were a little tight financially. We had planned on bringing in the New Year at home as a family. Nothing out of the ordinary there.

I want to have a drink tonight was a thought that kept crossing my mind. Normally, this wouldn’t be an issue. But I’ve been waking up dizzy and nauseated several times recently and hadn’t had my monthly yet. Now as you know with PCOS, we don’t always have a normal cycle so missing a period doesn’t always mean you’re pregnant. (More often, you’re not.) Butttt because I wanted to drink, I would rather be safe than sorry. So I slid out of bed, not saying anything to my boyfriend, and went to pee on a stick. Halfway annoyed I was about to waste another pregnancy test with a negative result.

As soon as I pulled the stick up before I even put the cap on, it was positive. My heart literally skipped a beat and my hand started shaking. I finished peeing as I kept saying “is this real?” over and over. I called out to my boyfriend to come here, who just groaned, and didn’t come. I quickly took the pregnancy test to him and told him to read it, tears welling up in my eyes, handshaking.

Of course, my boyfriend being the clown he is, had to mess with me. He kept groaning and saying “huh? What?” I kept telling him to read it, read it, read it. He then says “what? you want me to pee on it?” and then laughed saying “babe, I already know what it says.”

I think I cried for five hours straight. I don’t think I stopped smiling all day long. But I still felt like it was too good to be true. I couldn’t really be pregnant, could I?

I’ve been told for literal years by multiple doctors that I wouldn’t ever be able to have a baby on my own; that I would need all kinds of infertility treatments to conceive and even then, it might not ever happen for me. So I started to wonder if I was honestly pregnant or if there was something else going on. I don’t know what else it could be, but I just knew it was something other than me being actually pregnant. Does Covid produce positive pregnancy test results? (Insert nervous laughing).

We ended up taking another test and it too said positive. Thankfully Jalen had stayed with his grandma the night before, so we had time to wrap our heads around it (a little bit). We ended up telling my boyfriend’s mom and Jalen next, then the rest is a blur. I was so happy and overwhelmed, I don’t know if I had a single thought that wasn’t “I’m pregnant” for the next several days.

I scheduled an appointment with my OBGYN and it was confirmed: I was pregnant! Even hearing the doctor confirm it, I felt like I was in a dream. We started telling our immediate family and close friends. I didn’t want to make a post on social media yet because I wanted to wait until I made it out of the first trimester.

So here’s to my journey as I go through my first pregnancy. I wanted to post about it sooner, but I’ve just now felt comfortable writing about it. I do plan on writing more so if you’re interested in following my pregnancy journey, make sure you follow my blog 😊

That’s all for now. Be easy. Stay blessed. 🙏🏽

💖 Jessica